So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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