i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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