ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
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