I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
we're making bets on your personal life
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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