Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Just bummed a recreational vicodin off my friend's 40 year old boyfriend & am hoovering a breakfast sammy from costco. And I don't have a boyfriend because why?
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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