I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
