Buhtt sex?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
