On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
