The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
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