Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
