Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize
