I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
