did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
