you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
I had to cum in my sink.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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