I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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