It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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