I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
