yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
