i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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