Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
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