Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I could tell my life story through kermit memes
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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