why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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