Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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