i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
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