Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
