...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
