So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
Randomize
