there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
