Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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