Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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