I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
