Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
