K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
Randomize
