there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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