i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
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