seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Randomize
