good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
Randomize
