I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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