I have demons in me.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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