Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
he was CRYING into my vagina
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
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