so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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