Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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