Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
