Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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