You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Randomize
