Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
