i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I need to wash the frat house off of me
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