she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I DEMAND FORESKIN
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
