Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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