bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
