I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
