i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Randomize
